So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
