so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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