everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
