Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
