Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
