I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
