the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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