exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
