....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
