my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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