i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
