He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize