i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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