Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
