Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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