Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
