i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
