this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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