My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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