why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
