whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
