She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
