he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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