I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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