GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so let's talk penis.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
