We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
