She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
