whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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