Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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