Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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