Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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