I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
