I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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