you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
