i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
