the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
