Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
