yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
