She is in my trunk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
