Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
