Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
