Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
