Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
