Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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