im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize