Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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