I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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