Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize