So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
