You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
