look no pants
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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