and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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