and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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