I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
