we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize