he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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